The OMG WTF GTFOH moment

Fast forward a couple of years, 3 to be exact with guy from bar after absinthe, must be honest, I was an honest woman when I was with him, well except for that night with a friend's friend but thats a story for another day.

It ended badly with us, and I mean badly. I was so mad, I drove to our house and demanded cutlery.
*Side note, don't get drunk and be mad and have keys to a place where you both lived and the ex is still there - it ends badly*

So here I was, 24 and single again. I hadn't had sex in about 3 months, varsity was starting the next day when my GBF told me there was a Miller Party at Inc. on Friday night. We were there looking all hot in VIP (the only way to party), perving over Sizwe Dlomo; now before your mind starts to wonder - I did NOT have sexual relations with that man. The patrone was flowing, hips were moving and then he looked at me....................


I had known this guy from work but I always looked from afar, because as I always say "don't shit where you eat", but the way he looked at me at that moment, I knew it was on. And somewhere in my patrone fuelled mind, it dawned on me: I haven't waxed in 4 months and I'm wearing a spanx.

We decided it was time to go home, he jumped into my car, we did the drunk McDonalds thing and went to his place. My two friends still around with us, we got to his place and my girlfriend wanted to sleep and knew it was going down. He threw a mink at her, now mink and a leather couch - you could just die from dehydration nje. But she ended up leaving after GBF told her to get out of there and come to his place.

 

In the midst of all of this, all I am thinking about is "what am I going to do with this spanx when I take it off" *think think think* It's too small to put into my clutch bag, I'll take it off and pop it into my food packet and grab it on my way out later for varsity and that's what I did.

Went to the bedroom and like that Boom Shaka song - it was on and about bloody time!!! It was awesome, even forgot I hadn't waxed.

*Side note: you GOTTA GOTTA keep it waxed, you never know when a "hard member" can come up in your life ;)

Got up in the morning, with my freakum dress and held my head up high as I walked into Vega that Saturday morning. Yes I was still drunk, yes I looked like the tramp I was a couple of hours later but I had just had possibly the best sex of my life - who gave a fuck, well I didn't. I don't understand girls who have issues with the "walk of shame" as some whore told me (I will tell you about her, nx); "for you its a walk of shame, for me its a lap of victory". So use that next time you leave a guys house at 10am in your club get-up ;)

He was strange for about two weeks at work and then we did it again, and again that night.

And he neve spoke to me again - WTF GTFOH