Jackhammer

The word jackhammer came from a friend who after telling her my story of how horrid this one man was said to me "Oh my gosh friend, like he jackhammered you!!". If you don't know what a jackhammer does, please youtube it. So I met this guy through a friend and he was supposed to blow my mind as she had heard good feedback - ok, we shall indeed try him out...

So, there we are making out. Now his tongue did some move that I can only describe as strange. It would attack my mouth, then my tongue and before I knew it it had disappeared, then it appeared again. It was the Sahara desert down under and I had waxed - felt like such a waste.

He proceeded to jackhammer me all night, you know sex is bad when you imagine having sex with the hottest man in the world and it still doesn't get you even slightly excited *deepsigh*. And shame, poor guy was working so hard, he was sweating and all, shame. I tried to change things up by getting on top and he wouldn't let me - like WTF!!!!!

As I was lying there being jackhammered, all I thought was: as soon as I leave here, I need to call my crazy dude and tell him I'm sorry and he needs to come back home, just like Cedric in Think Like a Man said to Gail "Its hard out here in the streets"

And so started my new get out of bad sex line "I am training the new ushers at church, I can't sleep over"

Mr Jackhammer *smh*